This Is the Real Reason Carmy and Sydney Shouldn't Get Together in 'The Bear' (2025)

Editor's note: The below contains spoilers for Season 3 of The Bear.

The Big Picture

Sydney and Carmy's close relationship in The Bear raises questions about a potential romance, but it could have devastating consequences.
Carmy's trauma over his brother's death and his quest for perfection lead to volatile behavior.
The risk of a relationship between Syd and Carmy is too great, as it could destabilize both of them and the restaurant; they are better off as colleagues, learning from each other and focusing on their shared goals.

There is some serious "will they or won't they" tension between the high-strung Carmy (Jeremy Allen White) and the mentally resolute Syd (Ayo Edebiri) on The Bear this season, which has been building since the series began. Syd's reverence for Carmy's skill is evident, and she also understands his passion, which could very well serve as the foundation for any attraction. While some see a relationship as an inevitable outcome given their dynamic, a romance would have devastating consequences for Carmy, Syd, and The Bear. Carmy is traumatized by the loss of his brother and unable to open up or communicate these feelings. His trauma manifests as an unhinged quest for perfection at the restaurant which alienates him from the staff, his family and, of course, himself, often leading him to manic and violent outbursts at inopportune moments. His volatility would only hurt Syd and her propensity to act as a caretaker (like she does with her dad) would lead her down a path of bitter disappointment and ultimately distort or destroy her position at the restaurant.

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What's Up With Syd and Carmy in 'The Bear' Season 3?

Syd and Carmy have been getting pretty close as they struggle to create a Michelin Star-worthy restaurant in the third season of The Bear, and the stakes could never be higher. Carmy has dug his heels in so that they can be the best, with a daily revolving menu that is as vexatious as it is tantalizing. His skills as a chef do flourish under pressure, in much the same way that coal transforms into a diamond, but at what cost? Carmy's behavior is becoming increasingly unpredictable, leading to outbursts in the walk-in that have seen him punching walls, screaming at his staff, and otherwise isolating himself. Such toxicity is poison for a restaurant and while everyone seems to know what is going on with Carmy, the only one who seems to be able to push back against him is Sydney.

At the beginning of Season 3, Carmy apologies to Sydney for his actions in the second season finale, which saw him flying off the handle and saying hurtful things to his cousin, Richie (Ebon Moss-Bachrach), as well as his then-girlfriend, Claire (Molly Gordon). It leads to a rift between Carmy and both parties, but Sydney seems to be the only one who can tell Carmy that his behavior is way out of pocket. Later, when Carmy tells the staff that the menus are locked, but changes them without telling anyone and simultaneously lambasts his staff, it's Sydney who broaches the topic of the head chef's poor communication skills.

But Syd also seems to be the only person who understands Carmy's passion, and it is this understanding that serves as the basis for something more. In one particular flashback, Carmy is seen working tirelessly in New York, under Chef David Fields played by Joel McHale, to perfect a dish while suffering his superior's inexhaustible abuse. At the end of the episode, Syd is seated at that very restaurant admiring Carmy's efforts on her plate, indicating that Syd has been a long-time admirer of Carmy for longer than even she may have realized. With the pressure on and the pair working in close proximity, maybe it's only natural for them to end up together.

Carmy Needs to Work on Himself Before He Can Be in a Relationship

This Is the Real Reason Carmy and Sydney Shouldn't Get Together in 'The Bear' (2)

While it might seem satisfying for Carmy and Sydney to become a romantic pair, it would only spell disaster for everyone involved and the restaurant. From an emotional standpoint, Carmy is in no position to be in a relationship. He was initially traumatized over the loss of his brother, Mikey (Jon Bernthal), and has since struggled to really open up to anybody. That inability to communicate, which persists over the entirety of Season 3, is a quagmire threatening to pull him and everyone close to him into the void, despite also partially serving as the fuel that stokes the fire of his creativity.

Nowhere better is Carmy's turmoil represented than in The Bear's artful close-up shots, intercutting images of Mikey from the past with contemporary shots of Carmy cooking his heart out. Those heartwarming images are often juxtaposed against Fields' abusive comments to Carmy, which have caused his pathological feelings of inadequacy. The Bear now represents the vehicle through which Carmy can prove to the world — and mostly to himself — that he is not a loser. Ultimately, Carmy needs to confront his trauma head-on before he can even begin to entertain the idea of having a girlfriend like Syd, someone who would have the potential to act as a stabilizing force in Carmy's life.

Sydney Has More To Lose By Being With Carmy in 'The Bear'

Sydney is a resolute and fierce character whose mental acuity and talent seem almost out of place in the chaos of the restaurant, leading some viewers to think that she should leave The Bear at the first available opportunity. Carmy's erratic behavior and the dysfunction it results in are already threatening to destabilize her, and Sydney is particularly vulnerable as a natural-born caretaker. Consider her relationship with her own father, who she needs to remind to take his pills and not eat so many damn chicken wings! While Sydney has a visibly tough exterior, she's also in possession of a beautifully tender heart. This, combined with her reverence for Carmy's talent, could spell disaster, so why is Sydney sticking around?

At this stage, Sydney seems to be staying because she believes in the restaurant as well as Carmy himself. While she seems ambivalent as she mulls over the details of her ownership contract, she doubles down and decides to get her own apartment. Leaving obviously upsets her father, but it's an important step in her arc of becoming her own person and establishing her identity. The Bear is the path through which she can still make her mark and build something great. While Sydney has a lot to learn from Carmy, Carmy could stand to learn a thing or two from Syd. Ultimately, Sydney and Carmy are better off as colleagues, as the weight of a relationship between these two evolving personalities would upset the delicate balance of an already chaotic restaurant — and there's just too much riding on The Bear's success to risk a romance right now.

The Bear Season 3 is available to stream on Hulu in the U.S.

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TV Features
The Bear (2022)
Jeremy Allen White

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